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A Tiger Mother’s Guide To A Top Notch Mother’s Day

Modern Parenting Manual – unless you’re a Tiger Mom

You know the worst thing about being a modern woman? I’ve been trained to appreciate the potential value in everything. Like a cubist, I contemplate each situation from every angle, which makes reality seem fucked up, much like one of those paintings. It also makes it difficult to take a hard line on anything. A lack of black and white reasoning makes parenting very challenging.

To tiger mother or not to tiger mother, this is the question.

During the summer, when my entire life revolved around the summer swim club, I spent a lot of time with bonafide Tiger Mothers. At first, we barely acknowledged one another. After all, what could I ever say to a woman, with zero facial flaws, who dresses in Gucci to watch her eight-year-old swim lengths?

While I can’t imagine what she might say to a spotty looking woman, hunched over her Starbucks cup, muttering about stupid rules that prevent her from throwing a piss-stained mattress in the alley.

Swim club Tiger Moms and I come from two different worlds, but eventually, we found the humanity in one another and built a connection. After one particularly lovely exchange, I say casually, “We should get the kids together for a playdate.” (more…)

How To Get a 25% Discount By Using Your Next Life Threatening Illness

I’m at home with a super gross kidney infection. Of course, my mind goes to very dark places when it feels like my body is breaking down. For some reason, I drew a parallel between my health and my recently deceased washing machine. First, the drum went, and we paid $300 to get it fixed, then something went wrong with the motor and then and then. My husband regretted wasting all that money on repairs, “When one thing breaks, it’s a sign that the whole machine is in decline. We should have just bought a new one.”

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